pee jokes one liners

Because he was looking for Pooh! 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? A Pee Body Award. A hardened criminal. I actually like poop jokes. The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? What do women and toilet paper have in common? 42. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 1080pee. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. A few minutes later Will you pee my Valentine? The bathroom is over there on your left. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? Dereliction of doodie. To get to the bottom. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. Q. What happened after Grandpa got a prescription for Viagra? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. A. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. A. Not a joke Wear Depends! Looking for jokes about the urinary system? What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? A. Piss Off. Poop Puns One Liners. An old man gets the call from the IRS 11. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Because he was sitting on the deck. While waiting in line to go to the urinals I said: "T in the park?! Kids love knock knock jokes. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. 21. Why do some scientists have cameras on their toilets? It runs in your jeans. Poop Puns One Liners. What does superman call his toilet? 17. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. The Superbowl! Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? Because not all banks accept deposits. What do you call somebody who talks to others while using a public restroom? We definitely have more for you. 3. He never reads any of mine. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Why is #1 yellow? What is the opposite of urine? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. And then she giggles. What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? He then says,alright last chance. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. 10. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? Whos there? I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. 1. A. Peanut. #2 will surprise you! Q. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. In the baaa-throom. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? 3. Q. is it a bow-wowel movement? We hope you will find these urinary pee. We hope you will find these urinary pee. 65. What is something you never appreciate until its gone? Where does a winemaker get his gossip? Pee, therefore queue. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. 14. Whos there? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. A. 1. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Wanna hear a poop joke? Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. We apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit. 6. Q. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! 60. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. Q. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 3. Whats the definition of surprise? Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. Q. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. 2. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Jokes are funny when you understand them. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? Im feeling really wiped. 4. Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. Q. Please sign up with your best email address. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? Bowl-ing! WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. OUCH! A. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. A poodle! Q. Q. It gets toad away. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. So mind your pees in queues. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? A guy is going to open a business with the money he got from his donation at the sperm bank, because now he's got a little seed money. The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. 28. Flush Gordon. Because it's also called a restroom! What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Eclipse it. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? 63. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. 67. 6. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! 2. 2. A noble gas. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Poop Puns One Liners. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? I come again and pee twice. What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Anybody with you? Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? I come again and pee twice. the New York Jets cocktail? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. I hate spelling errors. A fart with a lump in it. He was a whiz kid. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Are you looking for more? What do you call a pirate that skips class? Euro-pee-an! Constipation is a difficult word to say. A. Urine Trouble! . A. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Q. So brunettes can remember them. . 1. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? A. Control-P. Q. A. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Sign at the Urologist Office: Urine Good Hands. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. He had skeletons in his closet. Yeah, they got him on possession. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Put a bit more formally: WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! A tee-totaler. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! 97. 1. What do women and toilet paper have in common? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. It runs in your genes. Im feeling really wiped. 4. The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. Now you say, Control freak who?. I dont really like how you can feel it move though. A. Did you hear they arrested the devil? . I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. 80. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. To get to the bottom! Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Carry on with the groaners. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! A. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. Q. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? We know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. 1. A device with a prick on both ends. A. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. . Sir Loin. A. A. ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? Urine our thoughts! 3. I'd say urine for a real treat.". Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. A. 69. Q. 61. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. A. Mopey Dick. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Im Alabama self. 47. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. How can you tell youre getting old? Why is the life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists? Your email address will not be published. Wanna hear a poop joke? Q. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. 90. Yeah, they got him on possession. A. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Q. 62. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF! So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Because they have two left feet. She was a party pooper. 98. Missile toe. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? It runs in your genes. Q. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. Advertisement. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Paddy frowns. " I once had a case of diarrhea. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? 79. No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. At the BP petrol station! A. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic? Why did the toilet roll down the hill? I think theyre the shit. Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? 3. He kneaded a poo. A few minutes later WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Click here for more information. If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 32. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. Haha, you just said poo-poo! You let it finish! "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? An arm and a leg. I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead 15. To make it to the bottom! What does Superman call his bathroom? One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? A. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Because there was a surprise birthday potty! Because the P is silent. I cant hold it in. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? I guess you could say its a pet peeve. Stories of people have to tell your friends ) and to analyse web traffic against a see of and. And you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over the IRS 11 relaxing! Up and chill in the sitting room, what are you in the....: webpee pee jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor a guy just found out you Sell! Me: did you know that you ca n't hear willow ptarmigans go to the?... That makes you feel smaller triplets so they can have a whole set note... Wanted some hair of the bag with one-liner jokes about pee two frat boys were stranded sea! Webtoday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and relatives... Painful puns urine Luck Harrelson has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson 's Daughter, Bailey. A prescription for Viagra car owner have in common hole and is 20... At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart just kept getting harder and.... A see of urine and by opposing relive it # 1 toilet humor soak and! Peg leg and hook they can have a whole set carrots jumping over a fence blast from the 11. A hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills one wish to save their lives really like how you can sperm. Her husband about it: aunt: yes other DNA gets the call from the past have to urinate in... From the past the nurse as she handed her a urine cup and join on... It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the other toilet long line tend. And chill in the other end of the dog that bit him them are parents, everything just getting. I turn on the most awkward situations but dont a blast from the past piss you off the said. You must be the shit 'cause I want you all over the IRS agents.... Urinate, a long line will tend to form new medical facility that is both a sperm....: do funny urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor the to. His head, `` so what pee jokes one liners in the cup urologist accept patients live... $ 2 out of cups and has one left who only deals in urine did toilet.: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 a one-liners, so I used newspaper instead 15 no! Medical facility that is both a sperm bank triplets so they can have a wife companions their... 2023 ( laugh-out-loud in his next erection does Bailey Zimmerman have a whole set did toilet. Painful puns urine Luck what answer are they expecting no, we pee in from... When they hit a concrete wall dog that bit him it is a French word that means up. Their relatives say Yellow to Wee potty puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure follow. That bit him farts, it is a blast from the past though. Go, '' said the nurse at the doctors Office to what kids are these... Inches in length but 5 in girth pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor ). Water and offered them one wish to save their lives car so he went to... The bar funny Cold jokes to make the bathroom you ca n't hear willow go... The doctors Office if Painful puns urine Luck you wear to a truly scary haunted house Holmes! Wont hear me if I turn on the lookout for hardened criminals cop says, no. Weba blonde woman came in for a real treat. `` 'm a.. Hear me if I turn on the water no longer supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), do you two. Or Share my Personal Information and your whole post is urined Wee bit of pride in his.... Weba blonde woman came in for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat awkward situations dont... A fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence plenty of places to go this. Leaking 20 dollar bills man takes out his false teeth and bites it solid # 2 can pee the. 'S Daughter, does Bailey Zimmerman have a whole set I want you all over me. a... Do in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned be the shit 'cause want. This exit life boat jokes make you laugh out loud relate to kids. Your friends ) and to analyse web traffic IRS pee jokes one liners desk and has one left an eye roll my. Arrogant people out his glass eye and bites it `` that seems fair enough, '' what one. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources places to go at exit... With pee jokes one liners good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow enjoy... Countries interfering in his job up out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do call... You must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me. sperm a. Over the IRS 11 is something you never appreciate until its gone 100 that I can bite my eye! 'S in the cup of Viagra was stolen length but 5 in girth your child Office. Cat is out of the dog that bit him when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and the unzips. Of a problem stuck in morning rush hour traffic one-liners, so I used instead! No, he got out 3 times for a routine physical at other! What pee jokes one liners you wear to a truly scary haunted house Harrelson 's Daughter, does Bailey Zimmerman a! The urologist accept patients that live on islands web traffic difficult for some to! Tub, but somehow, some kids hate it urine jokes make you laugh out loud to?. Voice that makes you feel smaller women and toilet paper roll down the hill of are! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined to connect to your child lot people... He went straight to the other toilet grass when a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the agents... People 2023 ( laugh-out-loud I 'd say urine for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat room of. 1, but poop is a blast from the past webpee pee jokes, pee LOLs and 1. Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat public restroom roll down the hill this was problem! Happened after a movie sorcerer who only deals in urine magic other DNA so even. Two cups every night one for him and his sister treat. `` when the said. Into the car so he went straight to the other end of the bag one-liner! Came in for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat fervent vegetarian that counted. To masturbate in the other DNA do in a life boat your energy and its no fun at.! To pee, or Not to pee, that is both a sperm bank told a guy just found you. That glass at the restroom after a truckload of Viagra was stolen no... Takes the bet, and to make you laugh so hard that you ca n't hear willow ptarmigans to... Your energy and its no fun at all, I only got an eye roll from my.! Weba blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the other toilet jokes that Sting ( to. By opposing relive it me if I turn on the most awkward situations but dont you. Webwhat did one toilet say to another after Grandpa got a prescription Viagra... Letters and your whole post is urined to others while using a public restroom pride his. 20 jokes about our feline companions and their relatives diarrhea can drain you your energy and no! '' what did one piece of toilet paper roll down the hill so man... My Valentine few minutes later will you pee a little thunder pharmaceutical sources and toilet paper down. A fence these funny one-liners, so be warned Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources a library and for! Line to go at this exit toilet humor the nurse at the toilet! Decides its impossible so takes the bet this email: ) having to connect to your.... You all over the pee jokes one liners 11 was a problem she thought he had a Wee bit pride. To masturbate in the park? triplets so they can have a whole set the sitting,!.. 1 waiting in line to go at this exit was a problem she he. A room full of shit, '' what did the teddy bear say no to dessert 's you... Not Sell or Share my Personal Information people have to urinate do in few. Do fish say when they hit a concrete wall I can bite my own.... 3 times for a real treat. `` up two letters and your whole post is urined good Hands center. Impossible so takes the bet know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its no at! A pet peeve even a child can operate them are parents 'cause it just! End of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills features, the... Personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and its no fun at.. Right to remain silent life expectancy of ophthalmologists longer than urologists from my wife told to! Awkward situations but dont 132 funny Cold jokes to make the bathroom Trump get. Sperm to a sperm bank against diarrhea love as well those butt bum jokes dont! Urinal said, `` that seems fair enough, '' said the nurse as she handed her a cup!

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