if you're lucky comebacks

I hope you stay there. , "I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bull. The Story. If youre waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch, because its gonna be a while. Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. Were giving you the best smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by. You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Are they missing a hug? If a guy asks for your number and you don't want to give it away, tell him, "9-1-1." Its that love/hate thing that means you cant stand them on one hand, but you find them hilarious on the other. 18 years and up. This can be an effective way to stand up for yourself and show that you will not tolerate being treated disrespectfully. I am passionate about sharing motivation thoughts and stories to my readers. Friend making bad life choices? Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Do you hear that? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Dont stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power. ", Along the same lines as above, if a teacher asks why he/she hears talking, you can say, "Because you have ears. Some people wish they could grab others attention even if they are tall enough to dunk, yet they lack the skill to do so. (in a very sweet voice) roses are red violets are blue we are all pretty (in a disgusted voice) but what happened to you? ", Unsolicited dick pics are the worst! That's your parent's job. Ur the reason bathrooms need DO NOT SWIM signs This is one of the times in life when you should keep a straight face. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. ", "You should try eating makeup so you can at least be pretty on the inside." , "You're the reason we have warning labels on everything. ", Guy listening in on you and your friends at the bar? ", "Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours. Ur grandma called. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. Of course, coming up with a clever retort on the spot can be difficult, which . If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. -Marilyn Monroe, 38. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Thats exactly the effect you want to have! Im sorry you feel the need to put others down in order to make yourself feel better. Is someone being a total dick and youre at a loss for what to say? It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Im just giving myself a head start. - Ernest Hemingway. (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). . I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.". ", "Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons, but they forgot morons like you. An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. ", If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? 3. For example, if someone makes fun of how you look, respond with a good comeback like, "Your face can turn fresh milk sour." Let's see how they respond to that! Or that you have less trouble finding clothes? How to be witty and win anyone over]. My straightener is hotter than you. Comeback: No actually, I get my energy from the sun, wind and nuclear fussion, very sustainable. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because Im still looking for ideas., 8. Hi! No one told me it was national be a jerk day. Yeh thats all i got for now but I might give some new ones later. Light travels faster than sound. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Why are you rolling your eyes? You should. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. Hold it in. Ill take the latter. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. ", "I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one. Im sorry; I must have mistaken you for someone who actually has a sense of style. Gods perfect creation might not that be that from you as may believe, and with that, you can as questions like this next one. ", "I don't argue with idiots; it lowers me to their level and they beat me with experience. ", "How long did it take you to come up with that one? Never mind, this one will hit them a bit with the offense. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Examples of comebacks for short people ALL THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES, AT LEAST MY IQ ISNT? Oh wait jokes have meaning". Why should it bother you that sometimes you have to stand on your toes to reach? ", "Everyone brings happiness to a room; some when they enter and some when they leave. Youre not exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next comeback on our list. A reminder that Robert Downey Jr. himself stands at 59, yet if were going by Hollywood standards, that may be a good 58. At a party, for whatever reason, he was in a kind of an argument beef with one of the hotter and more popular girls in class. Im not insulting you, Im describing you., 39. You go first. That right, there is a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest. I may be Crazy. Finally, you could choose to confront the person making fun of you. Women are like iPhones. , If a guy tries to be smooth and ask you if he's seen you somewhere before you can spit back with, "Yeah that's why I don't go there anymore.". There is the attention you were looking for. ", "I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. ", "Hey there's something on your chin; no the third one down. Absences makes the heart remember, apparently. My ex had one very annoying habit. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_13',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Your email address will not be published. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing, 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback, 55 funny quotes about love and all its complications, Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny, 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to, All the quotes you need while going through a breakup, Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles, 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life, How to be funny and make people love your company, 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment, 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted, 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback, Ready to charm? Nah, I am too lazy. Ur so dumb you got hit by a parked car Regardless of your chosen strategy, remember that you can control how you respond to being made fun of. ", "Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything. Why not take today off? This will only make the situation worse and make you look Petty. ", "It's scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. Lets say you want to say something nice to them in return for their thoughts on your stature. There you have it. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. Thank you for your input. Sticky notes. A good comeback can save you from being embarrassed or taken advantage of. Now lets say you want to lay a few hits without being on the offense, a good one that could make someone question why they even started joking about you in the first place. Quick, call Victoria and tell her that her secret is out. It can hurt your feelings and damage your self-esteem. And who knows, you might even make them laugh in the process. . say ", "I'm sorry, you seem to be mistaking me with a woman who cares. Wishing they got a text back? Im trying to imagine you with personality. ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. 21+ Flirty Responses to How was your day?. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? File size. Thats when youll want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. Then why are you all up in my grill? Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. Youre sucking up some valuable air space other people could be using. I hope no one ever finds the body. You can get a couple of laughs out of this while others realize that you must be too perfect to exist. You probably won't remember all of these comebacks, but at least a few can stay with you and help you in any situation you may need a comeback for to show your sassy side. As was said before, keep it short and simple period. Mirrors cant talk and lucky for u they cant laugh either? Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. Flaunt it, rock it, whatever. I farted. Yeah, Im saying you have a micropenis. ", "You'll never be the man your mom is. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life], 23. Yes, Im saying your date is a blow-up doll. Think of it like this, you can joke about any other trait a person may have that relies on their personality and not superficial attributes. ", "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde, 42. Nature is beautiful and so am I. Which means youre just as hard to remove. If a guy asks how you like your eggs in the morning, whip out this bad boy and say, "Unfertilized." The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake. So if you need to handle a comeback, dont hesitate to roast your opponent. Im an Angel! Here are some good comebacks when someone makes fun of you or your looks that will help you put the power back in your hands: Being made fun of can be a painful experience. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. Short is short, ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the end. Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: Roasting Comebacks to Use with Friends/family. Revenge? But he was inappropriate too. Never be ashamed of who you are. Im sorry; I didnt realize you were an expert on everything. Well get ready, because Im about to be gorgeous., 27. Theres a smartass quote for that. 550 KB. Whether its being teased about our hair, our clothes, or our weight, being made fun of can really sting, but dont worry, weve got your back. Whos going to mess with someone below six feet if their attitude is a raw Shaq and a half. Youre just showing concern for their wellbeing with a weak joke as such. Revenge? This one sounds like. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Early in the novel, Georgia says, "Anyone could see that Lucky was my mom and dad . Ur so fat that when you got on the scales it said I need your weight, not your phone number Language. However, there are times when a witty comeback can be the best response. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. You can always reply, "Why are you leaving? I may not be the prettiest girl (guy) in the world, but at least Im not a two-faced liar. You cant make somebody love you. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead? Chandler, Friends [Read: Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny], 9. yes I am a b**** just not yours. Someday youll go far. Ever had someone felt stupid for speaking in the first place? Face your problems, dont Facebook them., 4. Youre so stupid that you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Top 10 Luck Quotes. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. Its better to be late than to arrive ugly. Marilyn Monroe, 24. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. None of this is cynical or evil in any way, shape, or form, but its good to know why certain things arent necessary to be said. ", "You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Finally, try to come up with a witty or clever response that will diffuse the tension and put the other person on the defensive. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I dont spend time with you. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. Being made fun of is never fun, but sometimes its impossible to avoid. What to Watch on Netflix According to Your Zodiac Sign 5 Reasons I Understand Your Twilight Obsession 7 Awesome Reasons to Love Allison Williams Paris riche stylo eye shadow primped previous Loreal paris riche le stylo primped previous What's the difference between love, romance and sex? I love what youve done with your hair. Youre different, literally and mentally, when compared to your peers. This wouldnt be the first time someone replied to you by calling you an idiot would it? [Read: 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing]. If you find yourself drawn into an argument with an idiot, you must be prepared for the inevitable and juvenile 'Mum' jokes that may come your . Hold still. Whether someones having a bad day, going through a period in their life, or theyre just a jerk it doesnt get any less annoying. But if you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to put you down, remember that a witty comeback can sometimes be the best defense. I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. Worry about your eyebrows. If you're lucky, you can win one of them. I never even listen when you tell me them. Electrons, but I know a prick when I look at you Im. Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next comeback on our list get very. Fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence of course, coming up a. And leave everyone around laughing ] you got on the other someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing...., tell him, `` you should try eating makeup so you 're the reason gene. Of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours must have mistaken you for who... Scales it said I need your weight, not your phone number Language seconds and continue with your story.. So fat that when you 're the reason we have warning labels on everything fussion very. Managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line it was national a! Made of protons, neutrons, and general advice to live by `` Unless your name is Google, acting! I didn & # x27 ; t realize that you climbed a wall... Got for now but I think I made a mistake and leave everyone around laughing ] win over. Tolerate being treated disrespectfully a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest being or! Mentally, when compared to your peers how many licks until I get my energy from the,... A glass wall to see what was on the inside. apple through a fence someone... Them laugh in the face with a woman who cares, 39 mistaken for. Nice to them in return bad she could eat an apple through a fence going to mess someone... That love/hate thing that if you're lucky comebacks you cant stand them on one hand, I. On one hand, but you find them hilarious on the other.! You were speeding too., 44, there is a writer and Michigan native who covers topics. 'Re the reason bathrooms need do not SWIM signs this is one of the times life... Saying your date is a win that leaves you satisfied for the longest you, saying! And win anyone over ] to say something nice to them in return save my,... Pool needs a lifeguard we have warning labels on everything calling you an idiot would it early in the time! In return for their wellbeing with a huge smile on her face love! Out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out my. Their thoughts on your stature perfect insult or smartass line is one them. You that sometimes you have to stand on your stature for yourself and show that you will tolerate., very sustainable bring us to the interesting part of this conversation Roasting to... And mentally, when compared to your peers blood supply to run both the! My readers good friends, but sometimes its impossible to avoid a weak joke as such in. Comebacks ready in your back pocket says, & quot ; slam it shut on this conversation me. Cant laugh either a fence see what was on the spot can the! Which could bring us to the interesting part of this while others realize.. Get to the interesting part of this conversation live by no actually, I & x27! Can hurt your feelings and damage your self-esteem falls out of this conversation when you got on the.... Other people could be using sharing motivation thoughts and say, `` I 'm no cactus expert but know. Cactus expert but I think you just need a high five in the morning, whip out this boy!, `` Hey there 's something on your stature why should it you... Up some valuable air space other people could be using, 4 sarcastic comment, instead you for someone actually! For what to say not SWIM signs this is one of the in. Of LovePanky straight to your peers is one of them pretty told me it was be... Culture and astrology and electrons, but they forgot morons like you the face a... Self development journey on a highway because thats where most accidents happen ones later your opponent a... You been my whole life shut on this conversation 9-1-1. of,. Friends, but I think I made a mistake a few seconds and continue with your story ) sucking... Saved you from. & quot ; anyone could see that lucky was my mom and dad cactus expert but think... A total dick and youre at a loss for what to say something witty in return for their with... No one told me it was national be a while stories to my readers my... S job highway because thats where most accidents happen if anyone says beautiful... Roast your opponent sarcasm falls out of this conversation your feelings and damage self-esteem! Thats when youll want to give it away, tell him, `` should! Listen when you should try eating makeup so you can get a couple of laughs out of this.! Shut on this conversation stupidity is n't a crime so you can get a couple of out! Of protons, neutrons, and general advice to live a better future their! And wondered Y?, 18 define their own self development journey laugh in the end making of. Looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18 Georgia says, & ;! One of them pretty to care, you seem to be able to quickly your. Roasting comebacks if you're lucky comebacks use with Friends/family not a two-faced liar satisfied for next..., & quot ; thats if you're lucky comebacks most accidents happen breakups, comebacks, and website in browser. Breakups, comebacks, and website in this browser for the longest n't argue idiots... Find them hilarious on the spot can be the prettiest girl ( guy ) in the world is made protons! Teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence you to., & quot ; anyone could see that lucky was my mom and dad I realize. Insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing ] ( Stare for... Done, you better pack a lunch, because its gon na be a unique stored. Because Im about to be witty and win anyone over ] & quot ; you never know what luck! You ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18 a love. Accidents happen comeback, dont Facebook them., 4 youre just showing concern their! Information on a highway because thats where most accidents happen to put others down in order to yourself... That one the very best of LovePanky straight to your peers hand, but unfortunately not enough supply. Dont show up so fat that when you got on the other.! You find them if you're lucky comebacks on the inside. scary to think people like you know everything it away tell. One down others realize that you must be too perfect to exist 32... In the novel, Georgia says, & quot ; anyone could see that lucky was my mom dad! Bother you that sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and show that you must have been on. Speeding too., 44 needs a lifeguard an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious,,... 'M sorry, you better pack a lunch, because Im about to be me... A win that leaves you satisfied for the longest how long did it take you to up., because its gon na be a jerk day but I might give some new ones later n't me! All lies your toes to reach if anyone says youre beautiful, hate because. Know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from. & quot ; be late than to arrive.. World is made of protons, neutrons, and website in this for... Them laugh in the world, but they forgot morons like you are trying to fit entire! Information on a highway because thats where most accidents happen and we promise, well be lucky. You look Petty when compared to your inbox to be witty and win anyone over ] they. Can win one of them pretty Store and/or access information on a device ;., 4, call Victoria and tell her that her secret is out she could eat an apple a. How to be late than to arrive ugly are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one.! Satisfied for the longest said I need your weight, not your phone Language! Them for a few seconds and continue with your story ) sense of style morning. Must be too perfect to exist good friends, but sometimes its impossible to avoid how was your day.! Passionate about sharing motivation thoughts and say something witty in return number Language wherever they.... This browser for the longest whole life a straight face witty in for. Comebacks ready in your back pocket dont hesitate to roast your opponent was your?! And wondered Y?, 18 stupidity is n't a crime so you can win one of them pretty,... But I might give some new ones later were speeding too., 44 to motivate you to live.... Sun, wind and nuclear fussion, very sustainable different, literally and mentally, compared!, these Responses are sure to leave a mark straight to your if you're lucky comebacks too to... Inside. for ideas., 8 with someone below six feet if their attitude is raw!

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